Okay, now I’ve heard that a man needs to be loved. Now, even though this is absolutely true because everybody needs to be loved, some say a man needs even more love because of what he didn’t get when he was a little boy. Also, if there wasn’t a father in the home or if the father wasn’t a good one, then the man is really going to be expecting what he didn’t get when he was a child. Now, that’s not all.
You see, the woman also has some high expectations because she wasn’t treated so kind as a child. When she thinks she has found the one, she just might think that he can do no wrong because, you see, she wasn’t loved as a child. She expects him to always be her knight and shining armor and to never hurt her, but she sets her expectations too high. There is nothing wrong with being loved or even wanting to be treated right, but sometimes expectations can be set too high because of what we didn’t get as a child.
The problem is that many people bring hurt into their marriages. They are holding onto who hurt them when they were younger. Men and women need to forgive others for what happened to them before they get married. If they don’t, they bring their guilt, shame, and pain into their marriage as well as the hope of someone loving them like their parents didn’t. Well, the thing is your spouse is not going to love you like your parent should have. They will not be your mother or father. They will become your teammate, your helper, lover, and partner. They should love you deeply like a spouse and not give you what you didn’t receive as a child, because they can’t make up for that, but they can start a new life with you.
Don’t hold anyone up so high or put them in God’s place because no one is perfect. If you hold them to a really high standard or expect them never to fail you, then you will be crushed when they don’t do as you expected.
Now, if you went through anything when you were younger, going to counseling before marriage can help as well as talking openly and honestly about your hurt with your partner. You see, when your spouse messes up, it can make you think about how you were done in your past.
Let go of your past, and love your spouse for him or her. Let go of the hurt and don’t hold your spouse accountable for what happened to you. See your spouse for your spouse and not your savior because your savior is Jesus. If he or she messes up, then it’s what he or she done to you and it is not to be added onto what others done to you. If you don’t add up all of the hurt you ever had, then it will be easier to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is not easy, but with God all things are possible. God Bless!!